Procrastination. I've learned in the last 3 years since taking up the challenge of writing a novel in just three days that I'm a procrastinator. No need for a rocket scientist to tell me that. And years of therapy didn't quite hit the nail on the head either. But, alas! A wee little contest probably originating from some mountainous hut in the backwoods of B.C. (this is my creative guess) gifted me with that momentous epiphany!
And geez, do I ever enjoy those moments of sheer procrastinating bliss! It might involve something as profound as clicking between Facebook and yahoo mail in elegant repetitive motions (my nimble fingers come from years of practicing beginner piano, and I didn't quite make it any further, and well...you can only guess why) in the middle of writing a descriptive passage of yet another phantasmagorical oddity of a character...because it's always complicated these relationships writers have with their characters. Or I might take a few or several moments away from the laptop (ok, more like a few hours maybe) in order to stare fixedly inside my refrigerator looking for that palate-perfect combination of snacks. I have to eat, and this putting together of food might take some time the same way writers put together words. Switching back to some semblance of normality - and there is no shame in saying that Facebook is my normal - allows me some space to breathe and disconnect from those aggravating characters who can't seem to get it together. I mean seriously wtf - you non-existent people, get your shit together, puleeeeze!!!
I recently attended a panel discussion on writing fiction, and one of the writers said to the audience that when she wrote, she would let the story take care of itself and that she was the objective element, allowing her characters and plot to essentially run the writing. My simple-minded reading of her comment is that in allowing my characters to speak for themselves and remove my interfering fingers from their lives, the words would just come out without any censoring. I'd simply be these characters' transcriber, and that could take only a matter of hours before the story is finito. Um, why can I not do that? I mean, why can't I stop controlling my characters, and let them go so they can find their own way of telling these deadline-driven stories, while I can focus on sliding and tapping my way through Candy Crush? It would be so easy! Three days would seem like a quick switch of candy in Dreamworld!
Y'know, that is possibly the crux of my procrastination issue. I want to control every waking moment of my characters' lives so I get stuck on that cruelest of words: perfection. Why can't I just accept my characters as they are, in all their flawed glory? In truth, some of the characters in my stories have some serious issues to deal with, and I'm always trying to figure out how to wag my finger at them and tell them what they should do. If I just accepted them unconditionally, then my novel writing could probably make the 3-day deadline and I'd finally end up with the 100-page whopper that I've been talking quite extensively about (but never producing in all these years) on Facebook and Twitter updates (sadly, it's a conversation I have had with myself on most occasions if the number of "likes" gives any indication of interest).
More importantly, I'd have heaping hours of time well-spent on doing what I normally do when I procrastinate except there wouldn't be a novel for me to get back to 'cuz it would all be done! Like, how do you say "yay"?! My characters would take care of it. I wouldn't try to give them bad advice or try to mold them the way I'd like them to be. I must say, it gets me quite emotional thinking what a real leap of faith it is when we writers learn to just let go of the puppet strings or cut the proverbial umbilical cord. We do not need to hide ourselves in embarrassed silence anymore because of the stigmatizing language against procrastinators. We no longer need to carry around that ill-fitting label that shames us for wanting to spend more time with our Bejeweled Blitz rather than with those dog-gone imaginary and irreconcilable folks who just take up way too much battery power in our heads.
Of course, in taking that route where I hand over the power to these little people on the page, it would mean giving up the title of Procrastinator that I've held with such dignity and perseverance for the new title of...and I'm sure you knew this one was coming...a woman of leisure!
This year's 3-Day Novel Contest will be held from August 30th to September 1, 2014! And folks, I hate to say it, but I've just registered! Please, help me manage my control issues this year so I can finally spend quality time with all of you in cyberspace, and not have to run off again to write some novel. Thanks.
