"Lateral violence happens when people who are both victims of a situation of dominance, in fact turn on each other rather than confront the system that oppresses them both. Lateral violence occurs when oppressed groups/individuals internalize feelings such as anger and rage, and manifest their feelings through behaviors such as gossip, jealousy, putdowns and blaming."
I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and I think many of us who identify with marginalized communities are really hesitant about talking about this issue because it might open our communities up to ridicule and possibly further oppression. But I've spoken to peers who have experienced it far too often on a daily basis. I've experienced it myself both on a personal and professional level and am very familiar with the various displays of wrath that's out there - usually in the forms that are listed in the definition above. I don't think any of us are necessarily immune from it. Whatever struggles you're identifying with as a human being, those struggles will bring you into a community of others who have experienced the same. Our hope is that in coming together under this collective suffering, we'd all find understanding and acceptance. But more often than not, the very people who we need to count on for support are the ones who drag us down even farther. What such lateral violence creates is a profound and permanent lack of trust in our own people so that we all remain divided...and wretchedly conquered.
The only way we can create change and challenge systemic oppression and violence against our communities is to love each other fabulously, where each and every person's dignity is held up to be honoured and respected, where each and everyone's strengths, achievements, and dreams are celebrated, not envied or ridiculed. There is no denying the fact that we can't change the world if we can't change ourselves, but I'm not that naive to think that making such a change is all a bed of roses, as quick as a holiday makeover, particularly when we ourselves become both prey and predator of this kind of violence as we fall into a cycle that takes us deeper into fear, rage, and hate.
How do we develop self-esteem and self-awareness, and have the emotional tools to draw on courage to challenge our own internalized tendencies to oppress? How do those of us who work in sectors that serve vulnerable populations that we ourselves identify with in some capacity support them without having to sacrifice our own healing for the sake of seeming less than we actually are (such as by faking stupid) so we can avoid becoming victims ourselves? And if we do encounter the unfortunate circumstances of being a victim, where can we access resources and support that act as harm reduction to throw a wrench into the gears and stop the cycle?
We can't heal in a vacuum. We desperately need each other and need to collectively explore and implement transformative ways to reconcile, resolve, and grow with each other and for each other. If February is meant to be the month of Love (beyond the consumerist-romantic meaning of it), then let's challenge ourselves to know, be, and breathe Love. That, in my mind, is probably the single greatest act of resistance, and possibly the best antidote to our inner oppressed and our inner oppressor. Cultivate love by never losing hope in ourselves and our peers, especially the ones who have wronged us. Power to the people.
