to be nothing, i am

New Story by SI

i remember yesterday, but i am not absorbed by it,
recollections of it are neutralized,
i look at it from an observer's view,
it's no longer me,
yesterday is supposed to shape me,
not entirely, or not at all,
since loosening myself from it,
maintaining contemporaneous fluidity,
now I am free,
from its perturbations,
from its bedlam,
from its crux,
to be nothingness, no shame, no remorse,
the categories coming with this physicality,
even they are consigned to nothing more than peculiar details,
of a life lived,
unless i'm in company of the few who have some under classification,
i don't mind, it can't alter or disturb the passage,
because the passage is, during a retrospection, an observer,
paramount to point out that...
i am nothing,
nothing is emancipation, setting free, soveriegnty,
at least to me, it portrays the neoteric,
the unusual, the innovative, the raw,
i don't know why they who are around me are perpetually sobbing,
at any moment, at every moment,
they are chained to quondom resolutions,
such approaches aren't of the harmonious variety,
they bear stagnation, the mopes of no hope,
the people lather in lament,
even though their lives are not in yesteryear,
they are too here and now, they too can find their independence,
or is it clearance,
i was one of them, for some time, not presently, not these days, not ever from now,
gleeful, gratified, can't complain, even though they don't consider it as truthfulness,
they don't believe because they're in theirs, nonetheless,
they require me to be nestled in my own craters, excavate all, like them,
but the observer only perceives if alone, articulates what is prevalent if with them,
what is before them, the people's sorrowing, the people's wretchedness,
when these people ask, who are you if you are not "she" from the past?
i answer, i am me, from the here and now, not "she",
if they wished for "she", they'll never encounter "her", never unearth "her" from me,
"those days", they settled in, with no suffering, no struggle,
with placidity, with congeniality, with quiet partition,
today, the looker-on, only at certain intervals,
in exact definitude, i am awake, living, potent,
i am de novo,
better still,
a blank, a cipher,
entirely a zero.