Why can’t I be good? Acceptable? Strong in values? Committed to my family? Loyal to all my old and new friendships? Hard-working? Disciplined? And every admirable trait known to humxnkind because that’s what existing on this planet is about whether we humxns are aware of it or not, and whether we’re in favour of achieving such gratifying acts, thoughts, and feelings or would rather like to infuse them with a tablespoon or more of destruction.
Mind you, I don’t wish any life’s expiration. I don’t sit in solitude casting calamitous hocus-pocus on those who may have taken part in damaging my character. And I have never doubted the loving hearts of the people closest to me. No, no. I only desire total annihilation for me on certain days when I can’t fathom the monstrousness deep within me.
You’re probably wondering what infernal regions internal to this particular universe am I alluding to because if it remains a perplexity to your ethical convictions, you’ll have very little choice but to speculate. And most of us know that making assumptions about others based on too few facts or zero evidence for that matter creates a Frankenstein sort of effect whereby the affliction inside becomes compounded with bogus claptrap that if I were taken to court, all this added nonsense would be considered indubitable proof of my delinquency.
The truth? There aren’t any words in this language to allow myself to comfortably and without shame express exactly the inner torment that has been an undisclosed trajectory for most of my life since the age of two or three. I use trajectory because this portion of who I am on Earth continues to make an indelible and detectable curve or wound that dwells in me until this life I know terminates.
I’ve always hoped for atonement. Every time I believed the abomination had gone, it comes charging back in greater degenerate depths. Defeated yet elated in the crude moment though it takes away my capability to spend hundreds and thousands of minutes and hours to do significant, rewarding, and purposeful endeavours to support my own health and wellbeing and make a lasting and meaningful difference in others.
For instance, the knowledge and capacity I have could be utilized to help and support freedom, the humxn rights, the health and safety of the millions of people all over the globe who are suffering and are begging the international community to step in and rise up for humanity. We see this most recently in the brutal slayings of innocent civilians in Palestine by the occupying Zionist state and military forces of Is-raol. We are living in the 21st century, 2024 is just around the corner, and yet we are still having to witness the complete depravity, cruelty, and violence of humxns against their companion humxns who have lost their families, grandparents, mothers, fathers, children, friends, members of the press, healthcare providers, teachers, farmers, and many other humxns just like you and me who were just going about their days doing errands, etc. They were and are people with dreams and goals, all wiped out within seconds, hours, days, weeks and months. And their pets and animal companions were forced to face, too, this relentless assault on their peace, safety and dignity. Added to the despair, malnutrition, disease and poverty are now constant fixtures of an already beleaguered region. I would join so many humxns and add my voice and resources wholeheartedly to this tragic loss of life, land and liberty of the Palestinians. May God bless them and turn the tides in their favour. And may all the world wake up to acknowledge, and to act and be part of saving Palestine and the Palestinians from this genocide.
I will conclude my post here with the responsibility that I must begin the process of healing ❤️🩹 what lies in my heart, mind and soul, so that I may be of generous and compassionate service to the world and its inhabitants - humxn, animal, all species. I know only this life and I must make it purposeful, exceptional, and trustworthy to myself and to all the world, the magnificent world and its equally magnificent residents.
♥️
No comments:
Post a Comment