Sunday, January 10, 2016

Consequence

PHOTO BY SI
Stelliferous illuminations allow gratitude to advance in tortoise-like pace 

along channels oneiric in such moments, 

tragically transforming back to an astrophobic disposition 

when the Heavens' guiding celestial spirit is enisled 'neath traitorous brows.

Such moments. Acquiescent to what can only be termed Life.

Such moments. Revive an afflictive certainty of the world's virtue.

But when the morrow ascends as an agile pilferer

It ferociously extirpates glee with blood-thirsty artillery

So our souls remain forever perturbed, 

perplexed by habitual newsprint tales, x-rays of infamy and iniquity.

O Divine one, absolve us all from the innate infernos we have fashioned into Hell,

So that we may strive in earnest for a most potent pedigree of conscience 

that effortlessly emerges within those few fateful seconds before we make that...

one irreparable, inexpiable...

...plunge. 



Sunday, January 3, 2016

And Then the Heavens Painted in Green

PHOTO BY SI
It was our epic drive across these divergent landscapes.
In a country we called Home.
Picturesque is Nature’s splendour, with exquisite attention to detail.

But historic.
In the many calamitous paths the country trampled through
to create this current civilization of systems that…

…robbed Indigeneity,
…silenced the whizzing of struggling arrows,
…roared the boom, boom of guns and royal proclamations,
…sanctioned the abduction of brown-skinned children from all they knew,
…forced them into dark, shadowy corridors that echoed the filthy thoughts of desperate men and women, of faith.

And so infrastructures were built on an annihilation.

My baby and I heard the longing whispers of the lost children,
who were now mere spectres of their former glorious selves,
wandering heaving forests and searching hungry ravines,
pouring forth their drink and distress, into wells,
that swallowed up the harm done with a shushhhhhhhh
lasting for generations, shameful secrets of a budding nation.

From the Westcoast to the Eastcoast, we whizzed by multiple unmarked graves,
Of the missing and murdered,
At that time, hashtags did not exist, so the world remained in utter ignorance of #MMIW.
Our country protected for the while from the inevitable disgrace that came too late.

Over the sound of an exhausted, gurgling minivan,
filled to the top of clutter and wares from lives we left behind,
my baby and I steered with cautious speed as we caught the devious glints of disappearing sunlight.
We drove some nights under sky so mystically obscure,
we feared we too would become insignificant stats,
but we were privileged to have the gods on our side.

Upon crossing the defining lines between fascination and monotony,
We headed northward to spend a few lazy days in good company.
No moonlight to offer a safe way to our destination, only the infrequent glare of oncoming traffic.
But as we edged closer to a lonesome stretch, driving up, up into hills unknown,
we looked through the windshield to observe a curiosity hovering above,
We slowed, my foot on the brakes, in awe.

It was as if an invisible hand were painting the atmosphere.
Thick brush strokes of incandescent green hues.
This lustrous phenomenon of jade and emerald tapered off,
floating down, vanishing into the artificial lights of the highway
We marveled at the flight of time through this hypnotic haze,
beckoning us to greater heights,
to a greater recognition of our frailties,
a knowing that we shall reap what we sow,

For then the Heavens painted in green.

In that moment, my baby and I witnessed a transcendence of millions,
from the atrocities of a wounded past,
they moved back to that familiar home of grace and abundance,
where they once spoke the tongues of animals and insects, of trees and grass, of rivers and streams, of hills and earth.

And then the Heavens painted in green,
And then the Heavens painted in green,

Lighting up the starkness of a brutal truth,
And glowing with the promise of a triumphant resurrection.





Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Dear Precious

Dear Precious,

I mourn your untimely death. 

PHOTO BY SI
Missing from the pages of our city's popular press are unapologetic hard-hitting critical commentaries and calls to action to effectively end violence against women and violence against racialized women; and what has to be done now to protect women and prevent similar acts of violence against the women and girls in our city; what has to be done now to honour their stories, and dignify their loss, not through sensationalist recaps of how they died, but through dedications and memorials, art and music, demonstrations and taking to the streets; transformative policies that make our politicians and the institutions of justice represent the needs and concerns of survivors; and much more funding for services that give survivors safer options to help rebuild their lives. 

The world needs to know how you lived, how you resisted, how you fought to hold your ground. I want to see your name and life applauded, your suffering and your struggles acknowledged. Yet, the coverage so far has beared witness to so little of you. Let me say to the world now that it is a huge, profound, and tragic loss to our societies and communities that yet another strong, remarkable woman was cheated out of a life, a life that had meaning, hope, potential, beauty, and belief. I hope someday the world will know your story. 

May your spirit-force find peace and freedom in the new paths to follow. May you never know such betrayal and pain again. May your wounds heal. And may your memory rouse the power within all of us still here on earth to change the tides so another Precious may live, survive, and thrive. 

Rest in peace, angel. Love abides. Justice will prevail. 





exile

PHOTO BY SI
a lone disconnect 

horns clamoring silence

wake us from the warm comfort of illusions

within the boundless terrain of a faulty conscience

a child's doll house 

where naive hope collides with betrayal

where loyalty suffocates in the grip of retribution

where absolution succumbs to conceit

and a desultory suanter thus begins

...



Friday, December 25, 2015

The power in saying, "I was wrong."

Recently, I was faced with a situation in which I was made to admit my blunder. I had mistakenly understood something that was said, and instead of clarifying whether what I had just thought I heard was true or not, I allowed my mind to take over, fill in the blanks, and react without caution, care, and foresight. I let reason and sound judgement slide, and took the lowest of the low road to make assumptions about someone. Well, my horrible behaviour slapped me straight in the face when I realized that my assertions about the situation were in fact so totally absolutely WRONG!


Omg! What do you do when you're faced with potentially huge ego destruction, and not in your own company, but in front of your equals? Well humxn nature is such that it can cause us to react in all sorts of ways. I had many choices before me: 1) hold my ground and emphatically state that I heard what I had heard, and there was no effin' way I was going to budge; 2) admit that I had actually misheard what was said, but place the onus on the other person and say that they should have said things more clearly;  or, 3) admit I had misheard, and put the onus to clarify squarely on my shoulders. Well, I did a little of 2 initially, but then after my conscience got a hold of me, and shook me up a bit to get me to see straight, I responded with a strong affirmation of my mistake, and that the other person did not deserve to be subjected to the indignities that resulted due to my shoddy processing of reality.

Because of the error, the other person might very well be forever scarred, and, in my taking full accountability in no way frees me from the remorse I justly deserve and need to, have to, must feel. I acted atrociously towards a fellow human being, and now it's a matter of integrity and respect for me to commit to seeking some help to restore my mind and spirit so I can nurture more patience, kindness, empathy, and respect for others, and also encourage in myself an acceptance of where they're at and where I'm at in our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual journeys as we each try to find some peace among the chaos in our world. The chaos we ultimately cause.

I've observed that the times I've welcomed humility to influence my responses to conflict, things always had a way of working out, even if the relationship took a different form or even if the relationship had to end. In those times, I felt a much deeper sense of connection with those who, due to their own unique life experiences, stuggles, and personalities, played their roles in the collision of our tensions, traumas, and auras.

Well I've become more the wiser because these folks put me on the spot and challenged my stubborn and anxious ego. They held up a mirror to let me take stock, and face up to my very human incongruities. This is why the word hate is a word that has never existed in my vocabulary. Despite all the ways in which I've been scorned, betrayed, harassed, insulted, shunned, rejected, judged, abused, and shamed, hate could never mess with my dogged belief that everyone I have ever crossed paths with had and has some hard lessons up their sleeves to teach me, even if we only engage in a moment (like the other day when I was in a grocery store, and standing next to this older man, who, when he saw me eyeing something on the shelf in front of me, said something under his breath in discomfort, and then when I reached over and picked up that thing, he very lightly touched my hand, and said almost in a whisper, "Tsk, tsk, don't do that." I realized what had happened and I said, "Sorry" as he walked away). Each time it happens, I get to grow all over again, and discard some more of the arrogant and oppressive behaviours and thinking that limit the opportunity for me to genuinely connect with my fellow humans.

In short, taking accountability for every situation, circumstance and loss I've had a part in creating is an incredibly liberating and humxnizing experience, which unquestionably brings me, and maybe the other folks with me equally involved in the struggle for validation and empathy, back to love. Back to LOVE, yeah.